When you think about the relationship you have with yourself, would you say you are a friend or foe?
For me? I spent years being a mean girl. To myself.
Harsh, unrelenting, nasty, judgey, critical, punishing….
- This showed me that I didn’t have high self-worth
- I backwardly thought that I could beat myself down in order to be better.
After a train-wreck of a break-up in 2012, I saw the ‘mirror’ concept first hand. He was an outward reflection of how I treated myself inwardly.
Over the years I’ve learned that the better you treat yourself-value yourself-respect yourself, the more people will treat you with love and respect. For serious.
You guys hopefully know by now that I strongly believe that….
EVERYTHING STARTS WITH YOU.
As in, ALWAYS, start there.
So point blank, I was an asshole to myself, and I attracted assholes. GO FIGURE!
After this break-up, I intuitively knew that I had to heal. I FELT my broken-ness, and it was bigger than a broken heart, it ran deep, like, childhood deep.
One of the VERY FIRST things I started with to rebuild my life was affirmations.
That’s just a fancy way saying “Yo! You gotta be your own cheerleader! You gotta tell yourself nice things, and be gentle on yourself, and freaking treat yourself nice!!”
So that’s where I started.
I would sit in my office chair and repeat things like
“I am important.”
“I am lovable”
“I am valuable”
I would also use the visor mirror in my car, and as painful as it was, I would look into my own heartbroken eyes, and tell myself nice things.
I was SO LOW, and this small 2 second thing, lifted me up.
Here’s the caveat.
I used to NOT KNOW I WAS AN ASSHOLE TO MYSELF. *Gasp*!!
So, YES I want you to talk nicely to yourself! (Duh)
But also! I used to live on auto-pilot, I didn’t pay attention to what my inner talk was saying.
It took someone being a serious asshole to me, to see that I WAS THE ASSHOLE (to myself)
So, AWARENESS!! This SAVED ME.
I started to PAY ATTENTION.
Like, hmmmmm….how do I talk to myself??
And I realized, “OMG I’M A BITCH TO MYSELF!!”
So step #1
- Awareness. AKA PAY ATTENTION
Activities that HELP you gain self-awareness
+ Yoga – hint: OMnia Yoga is da bomb!!
+ Journaling – HUGE help to me
+ Meditation – it’s a must!
+ Get your ass out in nature and BE
- Decide. Commit. Make a promise to yourself that you want to have a healthier relationship with yourself, and start with being gentler to you. Be a good friend to YOU.
The LONGEST relationship you have? Yeah, it’s the one with yourself…..soooooo ya better figure out a way to actually LIKE yourself. Yeah? Ohhhhhhh yeeeaaaahhhh.
Remember, everything starts with you!
PS I’ve been at this for 5 years, and I STILL have to make a daily practice of this.
PPS If you want to experience the empowering practice of OMnia that will help you to gain self-awareness AND leave you empowered you can grab your free online class by entering in your name and email at the top or bottom of this page. If you want access to the full library of online classes, click on the monthly membership tab. If you know that you are ready to do what it takes to confidently live your calling and you want to work one-on-one with me, then shoot me and email at firstname.lastname@example.org